Long ago, when I was an active blogger, I wrote on
homosexuality. My stance was and still is: I cannot judge what I do not
understand.
This is probably one of those articles one should use an
alias but I will brave the verbal stones that will be thrown my way, and use my
name.
I’ve heard from the pro-gay and the anti-gay. Now, I will
attempt to speak for those of us who are neither here nor there.
I’m curious about what brought on the bill. Did an important
wife find her husband in bed with another man? In Nigeria we have learnt that
there’s always more to it than meets the eye.
I think a lot of the anti-gay people are extreme in their
stance but so are the pro-gays. I do not
have the right to decide for you your sexual preferences but neither do you have
the right to insist that I accept them.
If it is live and let live as you claim, then should you not also let me
live? I think both parties should give each other respect and perhaps space,
then the road might begin to smoothen out.
Since the announcement of the gay bill, many have lost
friends. I, personally have unfollowed and muted several gay activists on
twitter. I do not have anything against
people. How can I? But I have everything against someone trying to beat me up
to accept or fight the homosexuality battle.
I stand against violence against women and rape etc. Some
other people are fighting poverty and global hunger etc. We all reserve the
right to choose our battles. If you want to fight for the gay, by all means, do
so. But to insist that I must do so with you is to trample on the same right of
choice that you accuse us of trampling upon yours.
In our very gossip filled industry, I have come to believe
that some people are gay for pay. We hear stories of who is sleeping with one
big man or the other. I cannot judge them anymore than I can judge the married
woman who spends weekends in Abuja, sometimes to her husband’s knowledge. Perhaps some people are biologically
homosexual. I do not know.
I have friends that are gay. I love them dearly and cannot
be bothered about their sexuality, the same way I do not expect them to be
bothered about mine. But it seems to me
that often, the gay is asking to be defined by his sexuality. This is what
bothers me.
I will only define people by the content of their character;
not by their religion, nor class, nor race, nor sexual preference nor anything
else the world might come up with tomorrow.
I agree that criminalising homosexuality is unjust and
unfair. It should not be our business what two consenting adults get up to
particularly behind their closed doors.
At a recent festival, a gay film was screened, when two
teenage girls started to kiss, I stepped out. I was uncomfortable. The act
makes me uncomfortable. I will not apologise for my discomfort. But my
discomfort does not in any way make it a criminal offence.
I refuse to judge homosexuals. The Lord alone reserves that
right, and He will do so on judgement day.
But if you’re asking me to accept homosexuality; I can’t. Forgive me.
