Long ago, when I was an active blogger, I wrote on homosexuality. My stance was and still is: I cannot judge what I do not understand.
This is probably one of those articles one should use an alias but I will brave the verbal stones that will be thrown my way, and use my name.
I’ve heard from the pro-gay and the anti-gay. Now, I will attempt to speak for those of us who are neither here nor there.
I’m curious about what brought on the bill. Did an important wife find her husband in bed with another man? In Nigeria we have learnt that there’s always more to it than meets the eye.
I think a lot of the anti-gay people are extreme in their stance but so are the pro-gays. I do not have the right to decide for you your sexual preferences but neither do you have the right to insist that I accept them. If it is live and let live as you claim, then should you not also let me live? I think both parties should give each other respect and perhaps space, then the road might begin to smoothen out.
Since the announcement of the gay bill, many have lost friends. I, personally have unfollowed and muted several gay activists on twitter. I do not have anything against people. How can I? But I have everything against someone trying to beat me up to accept or fight the homosexuality battle.
I stand against violence against women and rape etc. Some other people are fighting poverty and global hunger etc. We all reserve the right to choose our battles. If you want to fight for the gay, by all means, do so. But to insist that I must do so with you is to trample on the same right of choice that you accuse us of trampling upon yours.
In our very gossip filled industry, I have come to believe that some people are gay for pay. We hear stories of who is sleeping with one big man or the other. I cannot judge them anymore than I can judge the married woman who spends weekends in Abuja, sometimes to her husband’s knowledge. Perhaps some people are biologically homosexual. I do not know.
I have friends that are gay. I love them dearly and cannot be bothered about their sexuality, the same way I do not expect them to be bothered about mine. But it seems to me that often, the gay is asking to be defined by his sexuality. This is what bothers me.
I will only define people by the content of their character; not by their religion, nor class, nor race, nor sexual preference nor anything else the world might come up with tomorrow.
I agree that criminalising homosexuality is unjust and unfair. It should not be our business what two consenting adults get up to particularly behind their closed doors.
At a recent festival, a gay film was screened, when two teenage girls started to kiss, I stepped out. I was uncomfortable. The act makes me uncomfortable. I will not apologise for my discomfort. But my discomfort does not in any way make it a criminal offence.
I refuse to judge homosexuals. The Lord alone reserves that right, and He will do so on judgement day. But if you’re asking me to accept homosexuality; I can’t. Forgive me.